How to have difficult conversations with your apprentice

What is a difficult conversation?

A difficult conversation is one that usually feels uncomfortable because it involves feedback, accountability or change. They often carry emotional weight and can touch on topics that are sensitive, personal or challenging.

Here are five examples:

• “This is the fifth time you’ve been late to work this month.”
• “You’ve been missing key safety checks on site.”
• “There’s been a complaint from a team member about your behaviour.”
• “You told us you were rostered to attend TAFE on Friday, but you were seen elsewhere.”
• “Our internal structure is changing, which may impact some jobs.”

These discussions can be tricky, especially when they cross generations, genders or cultures. But with preparation and care, they can strengthen rather than strain your working relationship.

Why it’s important to have difficult conversations with your apprentice

Research from Work Bravely shows that 70% of employees avoid difficult conversations with their boss, colleagues or direct reports, and more than half handle toxic situations by ignoring them. This is why it’s important for leaders to take the lead. Many employees fear confrontation or rejection, so it’s up to employers to make feedback safe, consistent and part of everyday communication.

Avoiding tough conversations might feel easier in the moment, but minor issues can quickly grow into bigger ones. Addressing challenges early shows apprentices that accountability is part of learning, not punishment. This helps them build skills, confidence and trust.

Handled constructively, difficult conversations:

• Protect safety: small lapses don’t snowball into incidents.
• Build skills faster: targeted feedback turns mistakes into learning.
• Strengthen trust: clear, fair conversations show you care about the person and the standard.
• Keep good people: resolve issues early, before relationships breakdown.

Open communication leads to stronger teams, safer worksites and better outcomes for everyone involved.

How to prepare for a difficult conversation

Before sitting down with your apprentice, take time to plan. A little preparation can turn a tense discussion into a constructive one.

1. Choose the right time and place. Friday afternoon is not the best time to deliver tough news, and tackling a personal issue first thing on a Monday morning can set the wrong tone for the week. Choose a calm, private setting where both of you can focus.
2. Know their history. Every apprentice is different. Review their background with the company and tailor your approach.
3. Plan your approach. Identify what you want to discuss and how you’ll start the conversation. Acknowledge that the discussion may feel uncomfortable helps set an open, respectful tone.
4. Think through outcomes. Role-play possible responses so you’re ready for different reactions.
5. Ask the right questions. Keep calm and fact-find before assuming.
6. Be self-aware. Seek feedback on your tone and body language. How you think you come across may differ from how you’re perceived.
7. Prepare for emotion. Have strategies ready to manage your own feelings if things get heated.

A simple 5-step structure for difficult conversations

Every difficult conversation needs structure. A clear framework helps you stay calm, keep things on track and reach a constructive outcome.

1. Act. Give timely, specific feedback before it becomes a repeat issue. 
2. Explore. Start with what you’ve noticed, be clear about the issue, focus on facts, then listen to the apprentice’s perspective. There may be valid constraints or extra support required.
3. Clarify. Restate workplace standards and agreements (e.g. TAFE commitments) and how their actions affect the team.
4. Agree. Confirm your apprentice’s commitment and the agreed plan or adapted arrangements. Detail the next steps and reassure them that support is available.
5. Follow-up. Schedule check-ins, praise improvements and follow-through on any promised support.

This structure keeps the focus on learning and progress, not blame or emotion. For more detailed guidance, download our resource on Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Here’s a simple script you can use or adapt:

• Open: “Thanks for sitting down with me. I want us to talk about [specific issue]. My goal is that we leave with a clear plan that helps you succeed.”
• Facts & impact: “On [date], [behaviour] happened. The impact was [safety/time/quality].”
• Ask: “What’s your view? What’s getting in the way?”
• Align: “Our company standard is [procedure] and this matters because [safety/productivity/team impact etc]. What will you do differently this week?”
• Commit: “Great — you’ll [action] by [day]. I’ll [support you/company will provide]. Let’s check in on [date].”

Managing conflict at work

Sometimes, emotions run high, or the same issues keep resurfacing. When that happens, step back and reset.

Pause. Take two minutes to breathe.
Reflect. Summarise what you heard to show understanding.
Reset. Re-state the goal: “We’re here to agree a plan that keeps you safe and successful.”

Manage by fact. Find out what’s really going on. Be kind-hearted, not reactive. As the leader, you need to set the tone of the conversation.
Darryl Leslie, Apprentice Support Manager, Endeavour Energy. 

Turning conflict into collaboration 

If conflict persists, safety or productivity is affected, or past conversations haven’t worked. A simple mediation process can help:

1. Decide to mediate. Check that both parties are willing, confirm the process is voluntary, neutral and confidential. Have a neutral third party facilitate the conversation.
2. Prepare. Both parties should prepare individually, reflecting, gathering facts and feelings. 
3. Set the scene. Choose a neutral space and agree ground rules such as respect, one speaker at a time and staying fact-focused.
4. Share and listen. Each party shares what happened. The facilitator summarises to ensure clarity. Try to find common ground.
5. Explore needs. What do you each need more or less of to work well together.
6. Create a plan together. Agree on 2–3 commitments, each will do differently. Agree on actions, timeframes and the review process. 
7. Follow up. Set a review date to follow up the agreed actions.

Mediation isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about rebuilding understanding so work can continue safely and respectfully.

Where Apprenticeship Support Australia can help

Having difficult conversations with your apprentice doesn’t have to feel daunting. We can guide you through preparation, support plans and next steps. 

Call 1300 363 831 or watch our webinar: Tackling difficult conversations for more practical tips and examples.